In the current climate of mass on-line dating and male designed pick-up culture, it is probably important for men to hear a bit about the reality of female sexuality from a female perspective. Why? Because, although male experts in the dating world swear that they know it all and discuss it prolifically among themselves i.e. how to seduce a woman… there appears to be absolutely no feedback from the women they have seduced to be found anywhere online. This strikes me as odd.
So, I have put together a compilation of thoughts about what girls want… that men maybe don’t realise they want. Here are some truths from a feminine perspective. Both positive and negative.
Women have different motivations for going out with or having sex with a man. I don’t think that the different female types (that I intend to describe) have any one typical appearance. Maybe. Maybe not. What I mean is that I don’t think a man will necessarily be able to tell the motivation of a woman by her physical appearance or the clothes she wears. Perhaps he can tell by her body-language, but this may be subtle, in-congruent and deceptive. Women are after all notoriously deceptive. However, there are one or two basics that a man needs to understand before we can proceed; certainly before a man takes rejection as a personal insult or put down.
For example, a woman’s external appearance may be driven by peer pressure, media images and/or the wish to fit in, to appear ‘normal’. She may be sending the classic signals for wanting sex through her make-p and chosen attire, but in fact she doesn’t really want it at all. She may feel very uncomfortable about her sexuality. Women are encouraged by marketing and social media to behave/dress in a certain way. Further to this, women have mostly been told by men (and compliant women) how they should behave and look for centuries.
In short, just because a woman appears curvy and lush and dresses sexily, doesn’t mean that she necessarily feels that way. She may be very inexperienced. She may be guilelessly open, innocent, lost or naive... as charming as those qualities may appear to men. In addition to this, she might have enormous complexes and problems with her appearance. She may be very fearful of sex and of men. She might not be aware that she is ‘leading a man on’ or ‘teasing his cock’. She might not even be aware that the man is trying to flirt with her. If she is open, spiritual and intelligent, she might just really love the conversation and the company, fascinated by the man, because he seems so different to other men and she feels safe and unthreatened by his presence. She may not realise or sense that he is extremely physically aroused by her presence. She may simply think it is a wonderful opportunity to have a interesting and soulful conversation with a strange man (a male being) about life without feeling like he necessarily wants anything else or that his main motivation is sex. She may think that he likes HER and not just her body. Some women yearn for respect in this way. Some beautiful women are perhaps tired of being stared at because of their physical beauty. Beautiful women are not just walking cunts or pussies. They maybe want a lot more than male cocks.
I think one of the biggest misunderstandings in this dating game (if the woman IS interested in sexual union) are the true, but various hidden female motivations for consenting to having sex. Both conscious and unconscious. Men think about sex almost all the time. Maybe women do too, but for differing reasons, as will be explained. However, men’s brains are literally governed by sex; a pure, immediate, irrepressible, physical desire for sex. The male sexual aura appears like a vertical stream of energy coming out of the top of his head with a flashing red light at the tip, rather like an erect penis. Women’s sexual energy appears as a long snake-like tentacle that comes out of the womb and probes about in the atmosphere in search of connection. [This is according to the psychic genius Ingo Swann in is book Psychic Sexuality]. Yes, men want to enjoy a woman’s company, yes, men want an interesting conversation, yes, men want connection, but ultimately their intention and ultimate goal is SEX! Men don’t realise that this is not the case with women. Women may want sex, want pleasure, but their ultimate goal, if they are not the above mentioned 'guilessly open, inexperienced and naive type', is invariably something else!
Here are some of the motivations that women have for having sex with a man... I will start with the base motivations and then move on to the higher. I am not describing prostitutes, who clearly are working for money to either fill their own pocket or to fill the pocket of their pimp, make a profitable business out of the voracious lust of men. Whether willingly or not, these woman's and girls motivation is relatively well known and need not be discussed here. Nor do need to discuss the motivations of women and girls who are forced into this trade, because it must be clear that their only motivation can be survival against all odds. I am describing 'free' women who operate under their own free will .... though one could write a thesis on whether any of us are 'free'or not. Amongst these 'free' types, I would like to suggest that men will find what they are looking for and what they need according to their own vibrational quality. Good luck guys!
THE BASE REALMS (LOW VIBRATION)
FEMALE MATERIALISTS: Some women know exactly what they are doing. They want to get to the top of the hierarchy, no matter what it costs. But really they haven’t got a clue where the top really is nor the depths of the darkness they explore. These woman need money to fulfil their aims, for example to look beautiful, to have plastic surgery, to compete with other women. They want to capture a man who is high status, who has the potential of earning a lot and who has alpha material gain written all over his being. They want to be the alpha female in his material world. Therefore she too has material gain written all over her body. She feeds off male sexual energy. She may be beautiful, lush, stylish, but be careful because those curves may be made of silicone. If you flirt with her she may converse with you to find out your potential… but she may just be biding her time, entertaining herself until Mr. Right comes along. She will suck up your flirtatious comments and your adoring gaze like a drug for her own vanity. She might play sweet. She might find you amusing and entertaining for a while, she might even flirt with you too for a while in a bar or other public space, because she is bored and doesn’t have anything else to do. She may pretend interest skilfully, but she may (through you) be signalling to other men that she is desirable, because she is desired by you. When Mr. Right comes along she will do whatever she has to do, to eliminate all other female competition… even put down a close female friend. How else can she achieve her goal of reaching the top? If you are Mr. Right, she will have sex with you in any way you want. She is usually highly skilled at giving Mr. Right what he wants, until he is captured. In the case of an older Sugar Daddy Mr. Right, sex may not be on the cards, but the pretence of his potency definitely is. These women have no soul. They are not connected to the soul dimension, unless they are working as a SPY; an infiltrator of many realms.
HYPERGAMICS, BIMBOS and GROUPIES: These women want to get pregnant by the highest quality male sperm possible, without necessarily acquiring the man’s parental investment or consent. They want the best quality genetics for their kids and tend to choose a footballer, a sports hero, a rock star or a film star, with the possible intention of securing money through the courts, but much more importantly raising their status by association with his high status, fame and success. The ultimate motivation is POTENCY. It is no wonder that sexual potency is associated with high status, fame and success. Bad boys are particularly attractive for this reason, because of the increased potential of news headlines. This is the world of celebrities. Love doesn’t come into it. It is more about the dynamics of vanity and ego, in a world where failure and imperfections are not tolerated. Men can have a similar motivations for having sex with a beautiful woman, however the male criteria for a genetic match is not fame or fortune, but ‘perfect physical attractiveness’. Strangely these men are seduced by the illusions of perfection that plastic surgery can create and are surprised when their progeny come out differently. But then celebrities are not famous for their intelligence.
DESPERADAS: These women are desperate for fame, power and success. Unable to attain it on her own merit, she will attach herself to famous, but maybe vulnerable and talented male geniuses, in order to secure fame for themselves. She will try to dominate and possess such a man in order to secure her own fame by association. A good example of this motivational type is Courtney Love and her relationship with Curt Cobain. The man is something like the goose with the golden egg and the Desperada is prepared to cut the man open with a knife to get the golden egg. She will use every persuasive tactic in the book to get what she wants and control the man. She will pretend to be his psychic. She will flaunt herself sexually, even with other men to encourage his jealousy and dependency on her. She is scheming and spiritually ugly. Any physical beauty will usually be corroded over time by excesses and greed. Ultimately she is doomed to fail, simply because she has no real creative talent of her own and has fed on the talent of her man.
FAT PREDATORS: These women may be geeky and intelligent, comical, extrovert and creative, but are usually not very physically attractive. The standard of the men that are available to them is not very high. They may find it difficult to find an attractive permanent mate and therefore will open their doors to anything. They are usually sexually voracious, because they know this brings them the attention they crave. They will probably eat a lot of chocolate and insist that big is beautiful. You will find them in the realms of hidden consumer addictions, ignorance about good eating habits, Naturist Parks and the mirror halls of loneliness.
CON-WOMEN: Like con-men, con-women exist. They entrap men with money, status and influence with seductions and promises of faithfulness and sweetness, but then take the money and run. It is a sad state of affairs, but, yes, con-women exist far more than one would like to imagine. For example, she might seduce the man, make him fall in love with her, then ask for a loan of £2000, (because of some dreadful thing that has happened to her), he gives it to her and then she disappears without a trace. She will then go on to the next gullible fool. Another example would be pretense of vulnerability. Some men love to take care of vulnerable women, so it's easy. The man offers her shelter, security through marriage and a passport to happiness and then the woman starts emptying his bank accounts on spending sprees, which include make-overs and plastic surgery. There are many other examples of con-women's activities, but the main point is that a con-woman will use her feminine wiles and sexuality to take everything she can get from a man in the material world. Oriental woman are well-known for this in terms of psychological power over men. In the beginning they will play super seductive, sweet, innocent and demure, but once they have captured the male they will crush him with their demands for attention, material success and financial support ,especially for the education of their progeny on a moral high ground that is almost impossible to attain.
THE MIDDLE EARTH REALM ('NORMAL' VIBRATION)
DOOR MATS: Some women are insecure and lonely, because of low social status, low self-esteem or low ‘market value’. They may also have been broken and abused or are simply dumb. They may be an unfortunate mix of all these traits. Never-the-less, like most women, they are desperately in need of love and the attention of men. They may be willing to accept almost any man that will fuck her, even an abusive man, as if this is evidence of love. She may want to have a baby with these men, in order not to be lonely, as if the baby will give her a sense of completion, as if the man will then stay with her and support her. Some of these women may have several babies with a series of different fathers, but ironically some of these women actually hate and despise men’s fickleness, abuse and rejection and will secretly want to punish them for it. They blame their insecurities, tethers and loneliness on men, on whom they are dependent. They justify their anger against men through the identity of being a victim, but it is self-perpetuating and self-created.
MILK-MAIDS: Some woman are like ‘milk-maids’ with large breasts and buttocks and possess the sexuality of a tart or a whore… an animal even. They are usually incredibly unintelligent. They sometimes have sweet faces and sweet smiles, but all or any of them will be easily persuaded to take their clothes off and to exhibit their bodies in abusively pornographic ways, because they are dumb enough to believe that they are popular with men and that they can get what they want through their bodies, maybe earn lots of money in this way… that they are successful. Milk-maids are ‘page three girls’ perhaps, who think they are successful because they have their picture in a newspaper. They seem unconscious of the fact that this type of beauty fades. This latter type of woman is pathetic in the extreme and they will be used by both men and woman in the hierarchy of status games. They will be kept in their place.
DOMESTICS: And then there are the woman who simply want material mediocrity, safety, security and certainty. They use their feminine wiles and their sexuality to secure a husband that they can have children with. They want men who want this too. These men are usually insecure and quite boring beta males. Once stability is set up they can relax and indulge in material security and comforts. This is when this type of woman might become ugly, fat and dis-interested in sex. This type of woman is irritatingly confident, possessive and boring with no other ambition in life apart from perhaps a yoga class once a week and the making of dream-catchers. They might dabble in psychic powers and see angels everywhere, but really they haven’t a clue what they are talking about.
COURTISANS: Much desired by men, they are beautiful in appearance, curvy, well proportioned, with an excellent taste in attire... elegant, sexy, seductive, but not slutty. Well, maybe a ittle! These women are usually extremely clever, eloquent and educated. They understand the art of seduction and eroticism. They are what some men like to call the true feminine and they model themselves on this male desire. These women are, perhaps, something like classy sacred whores. They are devoted to men's comfort and masculinity by being sweet, witty, naughty, sexy and flirtatious. They are motivated by knowing what turns men on and may even have studied burlesque or the Tantric art of love making and massage. They will perhaps be able to dance the tango too. Their sexuality starts with eye contact and their love making is all about the sexual polarity and tension between the opposites of masculine and feminine. All in all very desirable. Their pleasure is your pleasure and vice versa. If you can find one of these women, you will be in interesting company, but they do get about a bit and are desired by many. They are notorious for sexual scandals. They love adventures.
THE GIRL NEXT DOOR: Yes, there are gorgeous, truthful, sweet, strong and stable women, who simply want happiness for themselves, for their man and for their children. They are out there and they are wonderful. They might not be the prettiest or most well-proportioned girl on the block, but they are honest, intelligent and true. They want the best, and by the 'best' I don't mean material gain. I mean soulful love, understanding, compassion, integrity and truth. They are the 'stand by my man' type of girl. They are earthed, patient, loving and also not afraid of speaking their mind. They know how important intimacy is with a man and will support him even when he is being a typically stubborn and rigid man. Solid gold I would say, on the earthly plain.
SWEET WOMEN: This is a strange category to describe, because really this type of feminine has apparently no motivation other than to exist. The following description is based on the beauty that some men wish for and see in women. This sweet woman's existence is why men love women; why they need women in their lives and why they cannot do without them. She is beautiful inside and out, whether she is young or old, no matter what her shape or genetics or culture. She simply radiates beauty. She is a woman who wants integrity, compassion, truth, trust, love, honesty, authenticity, respect and understanding in her life and will strive to help men understand how important these values are. She sees things and people through her intuition, but also has a great sense of logic and will be able to define things in wise and simple ways. She will compliment her chosen man's true and divine masculinity with her true and divine femininity. Their union will be an expression of these magnetic opposites. She is a loving mother, sister, friend and lover. She understands and feels unconditional love for all things and yet she knows that nature and life itself is conditional. She is constantly evolving as nature does and her form is an expression of nature in its most sublime essence. Sex with her will happen only if the opposites meet in integral and respectful ways and if it is a part of their destiny to unite in this way... to this it should be added that her openness and sweetness should not always be interpreted as sexual interest in a man!
EXTRA NOTE: Some women, in the base and middle earth realms of human existence, are a confused and confusing combination of all of the above. And I am sure there are even more female motivations in the base and middle-earth categories that need to be revealed and discussed, including a hate of patriarchy and men, pure malevolence, revenge and the desire for feminine power over men… these women operate from their shadow, in their animus and need to be recognised as pseudo divine feminine and fake.
THE UPPER REALMS (HIGH VIBRATION)
EDGE ARTISTS (or STRANGE ATTRACTORS): These are the edge artists; the ones who dance on the edge of life and death and travel to parallel worlds either through mysticism, shamanism, the arts or wild adventures. They love the unusual and the strange. They are fascinated by the shadow. They are quite hard to find, but if they exist, you will find them in bohemian hang-outs, at art centres and in the world of theatre and film. They love music, poetry, sculpture, painting, culture, history, science, philosophy and writing etc. They are open and curious about sex, because sex is at the centre of all creation and the arts. But they may not want children, because they want to focus on their artistic creativity and not on rearing children. They are very independent and tend to want to go out with men who are wild, bad, creative, sexual and independent too.
MYSTICS and PRIESTESSES: Even more rare, but also found within the above ‘edge artist’ category. These women are true psychics, prophetesses and shape-shifters. They may well be actresses or spies. These are the women that Carlos Castadena describes in his book Don JUAN as either ‘stalkers’ or ‘dreamers’. The stalkers hunt down truth. The dreamer dreams truth. They come in many guises and can sometimes appear beautiful and sometimes quite ordinary. These women are very sexual and very dangerous, because they can read you like an unopened book. They have the power to enchant you and transform you. They will introduce you to your SELF and your SHADOW. In this sense, sex is just a part of their conversation and their magic.
QUEENS & WARRIORS: And then there are the Lagerthas or female warriors of the world. They are very very rare. They are polyamorous, but will defend their their main man to the death. These woman want courage in their men, truth, honesty, respect, beauty and integrity. They see the soul of men and adore their masculine physicality and their cocks and their sexual potency. And they want their men to be independent and adventurous, to have their own purpose and to be able to fight for a cause. They don’t want their men to be dependent on the woman for anything other than physical love, wisdom and truth. Their mission in everything including sex, is related to a higher purpose. And they want their men to be able to be soft, humble, gentle and vulnerable too… but will never betray or misuse this.
Again these types of women in the upper realm of existence can posses a mixture of all the types of higher vibrational qualities and motivations. In fact, it is probably best when they do.